Would You Like To Join Me For A Date Tonight?

My phone, made by LG, has a wonderful feature called “Quick Text.” It’s a set of preset text selections that LG anticipates many people will use for their on-the-go lifestyles. Selections include, “What’s up?”, “Let’s meet.”, “Thanks” and others. And there’s another selection for a specific type of cell phone user. Say you’re a young twenty-something, and you frequently find yourself needing to ask multiple people out on a date tonight, and you need to do this quickly via a text message. You can’t be wasting time with personalized text date requests. You need these multiple offers to go out to as many people as possible and ASAP. Well, you are in luck. LG knew you might encounter this problem, what with you being such a Lady of the Night or a Man Who Has Many Itches. They include a convenient Quick Text selection with you in mind. All you need to do is scroll down and select the one that says, “Would you like to join me for a date tonight?” You can send this quickly and frequently to people in your Contacts you would like to go on a date with. The biggest problem you will have is the responses you will receive to this most generic and impersonal date text request (and possibly juggling your evening schedule). You’ll be the Fonz, the Wilt Chamberlain of the text-based date-request world. Fear not, LG 8100 user. Your voracious appetite for text-based date spam can now be fulfilled.